The Depression Journey: Walking the Rocky Trail with a Therapist

 

A friend recommended me to the man who would become my therapist for the next twenty years. Jerry was a psychology professor at Buffalo State College. From the Bronx, he has a beautiful, salty sense of humor. Not only was he brilliant, but he was also warm and engaging. I felt at home, and we quickly bonded.

Is therapy effective?

A recent article in The New York Times explored whether therapy, based on the most current research, really works. What the studies show, and this has been both my experience and hundreds of others I’ve been privileged to meet over the years who struggle, is that it’s the combination of a good therapist and antidepressant medication that is the most effective treatment. In my case, I have been on Cymbalta (an antidepressant) and Lamictal (a mood stabilizer) for the past fifteen years. The meds quieted the physical symptoms enough so that I could benefit from my therapy with Jerry. Without the medications, I found that my time with Jerry was not as effective because his insights could not penetrate the hard shell of the physical side of depression that my brain was generating.

Some have told me I was lucky to find a therapist as good as Jerry. Others have said that they’ve had therapists who have been real duds or ineffective. As The Times article points out, it’s not always the educational background that matters (Jerry had a Ph.D., but many other therapists have M.S.W.), but, interestingly, if a patient emotionally bonds with a therapist. Bonding and its relationship to the efficacy of the therapy was challenging to measure in all the studies reviewed for the piece. The article reviewed some research that suggests how therapists react to the negativity of a patient that matters. For example, while this was not the case with Jerry and me, many patients can and do blame their therapists for they find the therapy not helping. Sometimes, they outright say this to them. If a therapist responds with empathy rather than being defensive, that is the key.

Advice if you are new to therapy or considering switching.

Before Jerry, I had a few other therapists. Each lasted about six months. The therapy helped me regain some footing, but at some point, it became clear that it was not, in the long run, going to help me get to the bottom of it all and make lasting changes. So, if you’re a person in therapy for depression, listen to yourself. Do you have an emotional bond with the therapist? After giving it a fair chance, do you feel it’s helping you? If not, I’ve learned that it’s time to change therapists.

Whether you’re in this boat or thinking of going into therapy for the first time, an issue for many is finding a good therapist that might give you the best chance of establishing a bond and recovering from depression. While there are no easy answers, a few places to start might include your family doctor or a trusted friend. The family doctor might be a good bet because, in the U.S., over ninety percent of antidepressants are prescribed by them. If cost is a consideration, getting a list from your insurance provider about what therapists in your community accept your particular insurance would be helpful. When you are new to counseling, I suggest “interviewing” a therapist to see if you’re a good match. Often, I tell folks to put together a list of three therapists and make an appointment with all three. If your talk with the first one you go to is a great fit, you need to look no further. If it isn’t, interview the next two.

Summary & Resources.

In summary, you don’t have to go through depression alone. As I have often said, one of the worst aspects of depression is loneliness. Much of my ongoing recovery is working on having deep connections with others. This has been done through many avenues, such as regularly attending a depression support group.  Check out “The Six Best Online Support Groups for Depression”), volunteering in my community, and being more open with those I love when struggling. Talk therapy is more than talk; it’s a critical part of learning to cope with and manage depression.

By Daniel T. Lukasik